Choosing Best Friends

“A mirror reflects a man’s face but what he is really like, is shown by the kind of friends he chooses” (Prov. 27:19 TLB)

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the company of fools will be destroyed” (Prov. 13:20 NKJV)

Have you found yourself stagnating in life? One time I became unproductive, uncertain, indecisive and was not sure the direction my life was going. My mind had become narrow, fatigued, foggy and unable to see and sense God’s direction clearly. Upon close scrutiny I noticed that almost all my friends were in same situation. We had become average and mediocre.

In his book entitled, ‘The Principles and Power of Vision’, Myles Munroe said “mediocrity is a region bordered on the north by compromise , on the south by indecision ,on the east by past thinking, and on the west by lack of vision” That was me and the band of my friends then, no clear purpose and vision about life. Always on the defensive and justifying our current situation, may it be socially, economically, spiritually, politically and otherwise.

Ambition and aggressiveness was not admired. We look good and fashionable on our average position. In the eyes of average group of people, average is always considered excellent. I have a deep conviction in my heart the Lord created us to be above average, extraordinary and un-normal. It is wrong to measure our success by the standards and the opinion of others or standards by the society we live in.

The word of God instructs us not to be “conformed any longer to the patterns (standards) of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of (our) mind” (Romans 12:2a). I personally was almost falling prey of becoming a wishy-washy kind of person. I decided to deliberately abandon the pursuit of balance or being average. Did I lose some of those friends? Yes. Did I gain some more godly positive thinking friends who have added value to my life? Yes. Was there a cost to it? Yes. Some of those friends I gained are now partners and co-workers with me in KCK ministry. We are rowing the boat of the KCK ministry together rescuing the orphaned and destitute children and showing and sharing the love of Christ with them, providing them with the basic needs of life, like shelter, education, food, medication and counseling.

When you look in the world, it is like people have made a treaty with mediocrity, pledged loyalty to average, and have made a vow to the ordinary. These are the norms of our society today. May it be in Kenya, Africa, America, Australia, or Asia you name it. In every society there are cultures, norms, social expectations, value systems and philosophies whose aim is to shape and suppress the unexploited potential deposited in us by the almighty God.

The human tendency is to bleed in and not to stand out unique. Christian life has nothing to do with neutrality. We are called to be the light of the world and a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. The call is to stand out in our service to Christ. I decided to change to be strong, controlled and purposeful. My mental picture had to change.

One day I had a conversation with church friends. This Lady said to me, “Humphrey, you can do better, you are destined for big things in life, you have great potential, re-evaluate your purpose and direction in life” that was mama Maureen for me that day. I never seemed to take seriously what she said to me, but the truth is those words hit me like tone of rocks. The Lord used her to set me into crisis. Her words cut me like a double edged sword and became a wakeup call for my life.

After several months of prayers and meditation I realized that I needed to bring into my life people who will bring out the best in me and influence me to be a better person. It is important to surround ourselves with people who will course us to have greater faith and confidence and help us to see things in God’s perspective. There are others we have to insulate ourselves from. Ensure you are insulated from negative people and their ideas but embrace and never insulate ourselves from godly wisdom and counsel.

I have resolved that this year as much as I would want the company of friends, colleagues and associates, it has to be the right company of people who will add value to me. On the contrary I would rather be alone than in the wrong company. Someone said that “a single conversation with the right person can be more valuable than years learning”

The right people will motivate you, influence you positively, give you Godly advice and counsel and bring the best out of you. It might call for you as well to change your closest friend and meet with some others regularly. Let them be men and women of great faith, people who will make you a better person, people who will point out the gifts and talents in you and people who will propel you forward. Two people are better than one, for if one falls he/she will lift the other. But above all let us choose the companionship of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. He will stick closer than a close friend or a brother.