Everything in his time!

“Everything in his time!”…..I think I’ve heard those words spoken a thousand times….I’ve dreamt them and fought them….until I’ve finally accepted them — well, almost…

Steve and I were married six years ago this July 19th.  It was a relationship built on love, respect and children. We both had children from our previous marriage.  Yet, we took the time and patience and blended them the best way we knew how.  Oh, sure, there were issues while we dated but none that would prepare us for what was to come.  Steve’s marriage proposal to me set off a stream of reactions from our (3) daughters that began a heartbreak, for me, that I couldn’t wrap my mind around: a heartbreak that would take my breath away and cause me to question my very existence.  Sleepless nights, pleading and begging became my normal bedtime ritual.  Rest was unheard of because of the pain in my soul.

And, so, our wedding was beautiful and bittersweet.  Friends and family surrounded us with their good wishes and love.  We held each other during our first dance as one daughter stormed out and another prepared to leave my life forever.  As Steve and I began our dream of moving down to Georgia still one more daughter broke away from us.  “How could this be happening?” I cried out to anyone who would listen to me.  “I’m a good Mom and loyal friend”   I would say over and over…to any and everyone….Oh, please don’t leave me…I screamed…..

I was so sad all the time.  Why was I relocating down south when my heart was breaking….It was a question I couldn’t answer….only that I knew I was meant for this journey.  It wasn’t “Time” for me to know…still, I questioned why was I to start my marriage to Steve away from everyone I knew to a place where the people were strangers and everyone went to Church?  “In His time, Mimi — you’ll know”…I, was told time and time again…

It was almost 4 years later did I begin to hear His voice…quietly in the night at first and then more clearly in a little Church here in Acworth.  My Church!  My Salvation!  My De Colores!  So often in Service I would pray for my girls and weep instead.  I would try singing but my words couldn’t be heard through my sobs….my heard hung low and my heart was broken.  And, then I began to see those around me crying too….but, their tears weren’t the same as mine….their eyes weren’t blank as mine were…..their eyes held a sparkle that I didn’t share.  Their tears were from God….their unspoken words were from Him.  He wanted me to share in the love that they already knew.  He wanted me to lay my burden down and look to Him for His Love and Grace….God had put me in this Church so that I would find the peace my soul longed for…

Well….I fought it!  And, fought it!  And fought it!…….

And, then, an Angel came into my life…..Well, I call her an Angel…..and I love her…She came to me with something only He knew my life needed.  She had His gift in her hands and it was meant for me.  It was through God’s Love that my friend gave me my little girl, Valentine from Kenya.  My sweet little baby girl whose eyes can reach into my heart and begin to heal it.  A little girl who delights in life and prays for me daily.  A little girl who spent her first (4) years begging for food — and, now, will forever be mine to care for.  My God had now begun to show me, in His time, why I was meant to be here in Georgia. He needed me to take care of His Valentine as only a mother could — with all the love my heart could give her.  He also didn’t forget my other daughters….I now know that I must always pray for my girls and Trust that they will find their way back home to me…And, yes, I still do struggle with this but I am learning that God can move mountains…and there are three very large ones up in New Jersey.  I’m learning to wait…as hard as it may be…

And, so, my friends when you see this picture of my little Valentine know that this baby has the gift of Grace on her from God and that I am her mother!

My Valentine

My Valentine

Love,

 

Mimi